none of my past, i regret
because all of it has led me
to moments lie this
here with you

"who doesn't long for
someone to hold
who knows how to love you
without being told"

you kiss me, deliberately softly, but the pressure, the passion, the embers that can grow into a burning blaze, it all speaks to me as no words ever could.
i care for you.
i may even grow to love you.
i know now that all in my past, those words of 'i love you' weren't quite true.. except the ones said to my parents, of course.
but, with you, i know that i could grow to honestly say those words. right now, i just like you A Lot. an incredible amount.
and i now you like me too.
you said that it feels like a long time or forever since we've seen eachother.. it feels the same for me..

and, i have yet to learn so much about you. i'm clueless as to your position on religion, children, marriage, politics...
everything.



that's for another time though.


i just realized today that i don't have to share every story with him. i didn't actually go into any detail about andy when i mentioned the other french exchange boy's egging of mme's house... i didn't. and, i think, sometimes(at least, these day's i'm noticing) what is not said, is just as important as what is said. and, that sometimes, also, what is said, holds no weight when it really should be a matter of great importance.
it's actually stunning that i said nothing about andy. and that i didn't actually mention the previous meals cooked.

but i did tell of my skelaton keys. and he asked what it takes to get one.
i started bugging him that he waaaannts one. hahaha it was very amusing.

he also said that he'd someday crash my car and then i wouldn't be so happy with him or somethin like that. i was like...*shrug* it's life. shit happens.

a pretty standard response he gets from me is: "doesn't matter to me" or "i don't care"
's because if it's not something important, i really don't care. but i did help with the what-are-we-going-to-do thing tonight. by just being logical.
lol
wow.
me,
logical?

now that's new.

i loved it when he came up behind me as i was at the sink and just... held me a little. touched me somehow... or when, at the grocery store, i was going to look at something and his hand ended up wrapped around my waist/stomache. i also love how he doesn't make too many blatently sexual moves on me.. his touch, his iss, are enough to turn me completely on.

i find myself holding my breath when kissing him or when he kisses me... sharp exhale when it's over..
his fingertips... his lips...

his eyes..

mmm




..
leavin it on that note, i'm off to get rid of a tension headache...

i won't see him again till next week, i don't think...
makes me sad...

*sigh*