paul... once again....

and clarity...


friendship

openness



Krista says (9:18 PM):
hey
#Paul says (9:18 PM):
'evening
Krista says (9:19 PM):
lol, how're you?
#Paul says (9:19 PM):
I'm doing alright... having some trouble making electronics stuff cooperate, bout otherwise fune
#Paul says (9:19 PM):
how's things going for you? still stuck in Weyburn?
Krista says (9:20 PM):
yeah, still stuck.. looking forward to gettin back tho.. wanted to leave today but still have a sculpture to finish an dmy computer to pack up and move... kinda sucks. thing's're alright tho i suppose
#Paul says (9:21 PM):
brb
Krista says (9:21 PM):
mmk
#Paul says (9:24 PM):
back
Krista says (9:24 PM):
coolness
Krista says (9:24 PM):
so, anythin excitin happen this weekend so far?
#Paul says (9:25 PM):
not really
#Paul says (9:25 PM):
went to Gabbo's last night.. right out of my head
Krista says (9:25 PM):
oh? (confused lol)
#Paul says (9:25 PM):
I just was pretty loaded last night
Krista says (9:26 PM):
niiice
Krista says (9:26 PM):
lol
#Paul says (9:26 PM):
how's weyburn been?
Krista says (9:27 PM):
umm... well, startin to feel a little suffocating.
Krista says (9:28 PM):
annnd... alone tho i never actually seem to be till tonight(parents gone to a wedding)
#Paul says (9:28 PM):
ah
#Paul says (9:29 PM):
you just want to get back to Regina?
Krista says (9:29 PM):
yup. most definitely do
Krista says (9:29 PM):
wish i could just take off tonight..
#Paul says (9:29 PM):
ya can't?
Krista says (9:30 PM):
well, i'd have to pack up my computer, take apart my sculpture, pack my car with all the stuff i have to take back with me.. and i'd prolly have to wait till midnight-ish to go cause i'd want to tell my parents... neither of them ever have there cells on them or even turned on..
#Paul says (9:30 PM):
ah
#Paul says (9:30 PM):
kinda makes it pointless
Krista says (9:31 PM):
yeah, kinda...
Krista says (9:31 PM):
so wish i could tho...
Krista says (9:31 PM):
just take off and leave it all here. lol
#Paul says (9:31 PM):
lol
Krista says (9:31 PM):
but that'd be even more pointless
#Paul says (9:31 PM):
yeah
Krista says (9:31 PM):
oh well.. another day..
#Paul says (9:31 PM):
tomorrow, I spose
Krista says (9:32 PM):
yeah. gotta be tomorrow
Krista says (9:32 PM):
lol
#Paul says (9:32 PM):
true
#Paul says (9:32 PM):
that's only if you want to go to class on Monday
Krista says (9:32 PM):
true... but i kinda have ta go to class on monday.... missed quite a few classes already...
#Paul says (9:32 PM):
ah
Krista says (9:33 PM):
and all but one of my classes is 15ish people..
#Paul says (9:33 PM):
definitely would be missed
Krista says (9:33 PM):
mhmm
Krista says (9:35 PM):
y'know.. to be honest, i kinda wanted to be back tonight in hopes i might not've been sleepin in my bed alone......
#Paul says (9:36 PM):
Krista says (9:36 PM):
hehe uh huh. lol
Krista says (9:36 PM):
#Paul says (9:36 PM):
lol
Krista says (9:37 PM):
yeah... but that's only hopes. lol
#Paul says (9:37 PM):
at this point, yeah
Krista says (9:37 PM):
sucks, but i guess i'll live
#Paul says (9:38 PM):
hopefully... live for another day
Krista says (9:38 PM):
mhmm. and hope for another weekend...
#Paul says (9:38 PM):
indeed
#Paul says (9:39 PM):
well... it doesn't necessairly have to be a weekend...
Krista says (9:39 PM):
oh really now...?
#Paul says (9:39 PM):
'course I do have 8:30 class every day...
Krista says (9:39 PM):
true.... so that'd be up to you...
Krista says (9:40 PM):
if at my place, shower's open to use
#Paul says (9:40 PM):
sounds tempting...
#Paul says (9:40 PM):
with decisions like that.... I'll let you guess which head wants to do the thinking and decision making
Krista says (9:41 PM):
hahaha i think i know which one
#Paul says (9:42 PM):
lol
Krista says (9:42 PM):
hehe
#Paul says (9:43 PM):
damn... now I'm having trouble concentrating on work
Krista says (9:44 PM):
awww, well, i could leave you alone to do your work and get back at mine.......
#Paul says (9:45 PM):
lol... well... my electronics project is working now...
Krista says (9:45 PM):
it is? well that's good
#Paul says (9:46 PM):
despite distractions from you
Krista says (9:46 PM):
hehe, you like it
#Paul says (9:46 PM):
lol
#Paul says (9:47 PM):
just giving you a hard time... which I think you enjoy
Krista says (9:47 PM):
mayyyybe
#Paul says (9:47 PM):
lol
Krista says (9:47 PM):
lol
Krista says (9:48 PM):
buuut, i reeally should get to doin that sculpture.. burnin plastic and such...
#Paul says (9:48 PM):
well... have fun
#Paul says (9:48 PM):
and maybe I'll see you tomorrow?
Krista says (9:48 PM):
sure, i'd like that..
Krista says (9:49 PM):
you have a good night.. and don't think bout seein me tomorrow too much
#Paul says (9:49 PM):
lol
#Paul says (9:49 PM):
although... I think we should be sure we're both on the same page about it.... just so you know what was on my mind about it last time...
Krista says (9:50 PM):
mmkay.. that would prolly be a good thing..
#Paul says (9:51 PM):
well... honestly... I felt like I did at the end of summer... relationship-wise, I don't think we're a good match for each other.... I'm sure there some guy out there who's better for youthan me
#Paul says (9:51 PM):
the thing is, we get along so well conversational-wise and in the bedroom...
Krista says (9:52 PM):
yeah... and.. well, i feel like i'm a different person.. but.. i know what you mean..
#Paul says (9:53 PM):
you've gotta figoure out who you are, and love who you are, then you can find someone who fits with all that
Krista says (9:54 PM):
yeah... i've been hearin that a lot lately.
#Paul says (9:54 PM):
at uni. age, you really find a lot of that out
Krista says (9:55 PM):
yeah.. but, yknow.. but you are one of the most genuine men i know and have met. honest, compassionate, and very often adorable
#Paul says (9:55 PM):
lol.. thanks
#Paul says (9:55 PM):
well.. I try my best to be honest and genuine... no false fronts or BS....
#Paul says (9:56 PM):
I'll be honest... I do care about you, very much so, and I don't want to hurt you
Krista says (9:57 PM):
i care about you too.. and thank you for not wanting to hurt me. it's usually empty words from most guys.
#Paul says (9:59 PM):
I want to see you happy and to find someone with whom you can thrive.... (actually, I want to see the entire world happy, but I know that's impossible)
#Paul says (10:01 PM):
and, one thing that was on my mind about you and me relationship wise, especially long term.... you do have depression sometimes, I remember you telling me that... I think I may prone to it a bit... I can manage myself, but if the two of us were long-term together, we'd probably end up feeding off each other's negativity which would be a downward spiral
Krista says (10:04 PM):
it could be.... or it could be support... i'm happy when i'm with you.. just generally like being around you.. and.. i dunno. i just.. i try to be positive. i try. but, it's important to have someone whos there for you.. and it can be amazing to have someone who understands what your going through. my dad's depressed.. and sometimes hes the only person i think can understand... but thats sometimes
#Paul says (10:05 PM):
true
Krista says (10:05 PM):
it hurts being alone.. feeling alone..
Krista says (10:05 PM):
it hurts whether my heart is broken or not.
#Paul says (10:06 PM):
I know what you mean... I used to be like that myself
Krista says (10:06 PM):
how did you fix it?
#Paul says (10:07 PM):
well... the worst I had it was when I was single for about 2 years...
#Paul says (10:09 PM):
and the first relationship after that, I was disappointed after that ended, but I realized that while I did not have one specific someone, I was still surrounded with friends who were all there for me
Krista says (10:09 PM):
that is true...
#Paul says (10:10 PM):
also, from kind of figuring myself out and knowing what I liked/disliked, believed in, and my driection in life
Krista says (10:10 PM):
true...
#Paul says (10:11 PM):
the key is that you have to be satisfied, whatever you have
#Paul says (10:12 PM):
also, for figuring yourself out, then you can figure out what qualities you want in a significant other... qualities that will mesh with yourself, and possibly compliment what you have
Krista says (10:12 PM):
yeah... i've figured out a lotta qualities i don't want so far....
#Paul says (10:13 PM):
so that the two of you, while being great people individually, are even better as a team
#Paul says (10:14 PM):
and actually, as one girl I dated told me when it was over (same one after the 2 years of being single)... it's not about someone being too goood for you, or not good enough... it's about rather they match you or not
Krista says (10:14 PM):
's true...
#Paul says (10:17 PM):
that's kind of what I'm doing right now.... I know what I'm looking for in someone, I know what are must-have qualities, what are qualities that don't matter so much (you can't be TOO picky, after all), then if they are willing to go out with you, that's when you figure out if the two of you will work out relationship wise (whether or not there's that "magic spark")
Krista says (10:19 PM):
yeah... see... i think the spark is needed... guess i'm a bit of an optimistic romantic that way... but it's not the most important thing..i know that. because without other things, that spark can just disappear..
#Paul says (10:19 PM):
yeah
#Paul says (10:19 PM):
the way I see it, you won't know if the spark is there until you date a person
#Paul says (10:20 PM):
if it isn't, you go your seperate ways, and hopefully learn something about yourself and something to make your search for that someone more effective next time
Krista says (10:22 PM):
yeah. i have learned something from every relationship i've been through.. hurts, but i have.. i've also learned that most men or guys or whatever are.... well... they don't treat women right.... and i gues... that might be why i feel the way i feel right now... damnit.. sorry... i think i just figured something out........
Krista says (10:23 PM):
corey.... ryan... cody.... made me feel useless... unless they wanted me.... i... well.. that might be a reason i'm feelin this way.... part of it anyways.... i know i can't handle a real relationship right now.. but. i know i want companionship...
#Paul says (10:24 PM):
well... you know you can end up with decent guys... look at myself and Dan
Krista says (10:25 PM):
yeah... but that's two out of.... how many......
Krista says (10:25 PM):
i don't know
#Paul says (10:25 PM):
so, you know the positive qualities you like in a guy like myself
#Paul says (10:25 PM):
know what you want, know that you can find a guy with those qualities, and accept no less
#Paul says (10:26 PM):
I think part of it is that you are rushing into relationships without thnking things through clearly first, out of fear of being alone
Krista says (10:26 PM):
i know i am..... but... can't seem to stop happening.....
#Paul says (10:27 PM):
well... my advice is would be not to date anyone unless you know them well and are absolutely sure you want to date them
#Paul says (10:28 PM):
... of course that method has led to me being single with many female friends, which can be frustrating at times
#Paul says (10:28 PM):
remember: it is better to be single than to be in a bad relationship
Krista says (10:28 PM):
very true.....
Krista says (10:28 PM):
i definitely should've learned that one by now..
#Paul says (10:29 PM):
it may hurt to be single, but bad relationships hurt more, and will hurt for longer
Krista says (10:29 PM):
yeah..
Krista says (10:29 PM):
they will.. and they do..
Krista says (10:30 PM):
gosh, tho... it's so hard for me not to become fond of someone in that way...
#Paul says (10:30 PM):
you get attached quickly... diving in headfirst emotionally
#Paul says (10:30 PM):
I used to be like that...
Krista says (10:31 PM):
then someone really hurt you....?
#Paul says (10:31 PM):
the worst I had was that story about the owl and the long cold walk back home with my thoughts... I'm pretty sure I told you
#Paul says (10:32 PM):
I suppose it's all in how you respond to things... my response to it is now not to get emotionally involved as early, and keep my heart guarded
Krista says (10:33 PM):
i try.... never seems to work....
Krista says (10:33 PM):
o
Krista says (10:33 PM):
whoops
#Paul says (10:33 PM):
Krista says (10:34 PM):
(was gunna type somethin. fingers on wrong keys.. hit enter accidentally.) i'm too optimistic.. too hopeful.. too open... too trusting..
#Paul says (10:35 PM):
which leads to you getting hurt easily... that's something that's hard to change
Krista says (10:35 PM):
it is... can't seem to change it....
#Paul says (10:36 PM):
you're trying to find fulfilment in a signigicant other... talling yourself that if you just have someone, life will be good and you'll be happy
#Paul says (10:36 PM):
am I correct in saying that?
#Paul says (10:36 PM):
that's the way I used to think
Krista says (10:37 PM):
you're probably right....
#Paul says (10:37 PM):
if you spend long enough single, you'll realize that life single isn't much different than life with a significant other
#Paul says (10:38 PM):
sure there isn't someone to confide in in the same way, as well as other things , but you also don't have to worry about pleasing or displeasing another person
Krista says (10:38 PM):
true....
#Paul says (10:40 PM):
that's why I'm trying to make sure that I am happy as an individual, and to find someone who accepts me as I the individual am, and whos individual characteristics work well with mine
Krista says (10:40 PM):
that's good... i should do that.... should be doing that... but... i keep searching...
#Paul says (10:41 PM):
well... could you try something else?
#Paul says (10:41 PM):
just be yourself, do what makes you happy, regardless of what guys may think
#Paul says (10:42 PM):
and if you see any potential interest, just keep your eye on it, don't make immediate moves and make sure it is what you want before pursuing
Krista says (10:43 PM):
yeah.... i've been shocked into bein myself again lately. lol.. guess that'd filter out the ones that don't like me for me... despite my awkwarness, quietness, and... umm... uniqueness at times...
#Paul says (10:44 PM):
exactly
#Paul says (10:44 PM):
and you don't want the ones that don't want you for you... they aren't worth your time
Krista says (10:44 PM):
they definitely aren't...
Krista says (10:45 PM):
hmm... i think i need to start hanging otu with people a little more... been just sittin at home a lot this past month.. that or hanging with alisha... not many other people...
Krista says (10:45 PM):
kinda miss luther for that...
#Paul says (10:46 PM):
that's one of the reasons I still live here after all these years
Krista says (10:46 PM):
yeah... i almost wanna come back...
Krista says (10:46 PM):
despite the freedom of having my own place..
Krista says (10:46 PM):
but i know it'd be different than last year...
#Paul says (10:47 PM):
it's a bit different every year
#Paul says (10:47 PM):
of course it would be different... you wouldn't be a confused first year
Krista says (10:47 PM):
hahaha true. lol
Krista says (10:48 PM):
and i'd prolly be around talkin to everyone. hangin out with different people... i tended to stay on 3N....
#Paul says (10:48 PM):
sometimes you stay wmostly with your quad
Krista says (10:49 PM):
yeah... guess it just depends who you're friends with..
#Paul says (10:49 PM):
yeah
Krista says (10:49 PM):
and i so would rather live in the same building with people i'm friends with...
#Paul says (10:49 PM):
it makes life more fun, although sometimes harder to do work
Krista says (10:50 PM):
true... but bein directly on campus'd be easier for me
#Paul says (10:50 PM):
true
Krista says (10:52 PM):
and i still suck at cooking my own meals....
Krista says (10:52 PM):
lol
#Paul says (10:52 PM):
lol
#Paul says (10:52 PM):
you don't remember how to make spagetti or curry?
#Paul says (10:52 PM):
Krista says (10:53 PM):
hahaha i remember but that doesn't quite work for every meal
#Paul says (10:53 PM):
true
Krista says (10:53 PM):
lol

#Paul says (10:56 PM):
hmmm... it's already 11
Krista says (10:56 PM):
it is...
Krista says (10:56 PM):
i should get at that sculpture...
Krista says (10:56 PM):
hopefully finish tonight... or at least get partly done...
#Paul says (10:57 PM):
that woulddefinitely help
Krista says (10:57 PM):
definitely.
Krista says (10:57 PM):
k, s, same page = friendly sleepovers occasionally? lol or none.
#Paul says (10:58 PM):
I wouldn't mind
Krista says (10:59 PM):
neither would i. just smack me if i start bein stupid bout anythin(ie. attatchment... to anyone... lol)
Krista says (10:59 PM):
figuratively smack me
Krista says (10:59 PM):
lol
#Paul says (10:59 PM):
lol
#Paul says (10:59 PM):
plus, we can help each other in the bedroom... tell each other what's good, what isn't?
Krista says (10:59 PM):
mhmm... completely open..
#Paul says (11:00 PM):
ounds interesting
Krista says (11:00 PM):
definitely does.
#Paul says (11:00 PM):
even how we have been so far... pretty good you think?
Krista says (11:01 PM):
yeah.. i think so.. cept for me n my hope. lol. but you know me..
#Paul says (11:02 PM):
lol
Krista says (11:02 PM):
lol
#Paul says (11:03 PM):
I definitely enjoyed that shower we had that one time
Krista says (11:03 PM):
as did i... hehe